IM Transcript

Ninja with Mad Skilz:
it’s quite a morning you’ve had, mr. man
secret agent man:
i can’t talk right now. I am busy mobilizing troops to attack Madagascar
secret agent man:
They have violated international environmental laws, killing off a rare species of fruit fly
secret agent man:
and now they must pay with their lives
secret agent man:
how is thy morning progressing, O Amy?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i woke up with a liger in my bed
secret agent man:
awesome
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
she was fat and orange…
secret agent man:
and bred for her magic and skilz
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
so she was pretty easy to stop
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
magic she has, skilz not so much
secret agent man:
NSM - not so much.
secret agent man:
heh. a new abrev.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
fancy…
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i was in thailand briefly last night
secret agent man:
very nice
secret agent man:
and how was it?
secret agent man:
did you manage to avoid being hit by lunatic rickshaw drivers hyped up on mate?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
well, really i just had enough time to feast
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i did
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
barely
secret agent man:
you’re lucky
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
yeah
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
tonight i’m getting busy with patrick swayze
secret agent man:
I heard
secret agent man:
you slore
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
yeah
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
looks like tortilla warmers are on sale
secret agent man:
save me a case
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
weren’t you looking for one of those?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
or 12?
secret agent man:
one?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
jinx
secret agent man:
I need one for each tortilla
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
right
secret agent man:
better save me two cases
secret agent man:
with my new house in Stevensville, I have plenty of room to spread out in the kitchen now
secret agent man:
I took it by force last night
secret agent man:
A couple of cases of whiskey, 1,200 rounds of ammo
secret agent man:
they did not have a chance
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
is the bike fixable?
secret agent man:
in their pussy SUVs with their faggy “Support Our Troops ” magnets.
secret agent man:
wusses
secret agent man:
why fix it?
secret agent man:
I’m just going to buy another one this afternoon
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
buy me one..
secret agent man:
what colour do you want?
secret agent man:
and are you looking for a BMW crotch rocket or a Fat Boy
secret agent man:
or a Sportster?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
a fatty
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
lavender
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
please
secret agent man:
OK, no problem
secret agent man:
and a windshield, too, and all of the extra chrome they have?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i love lots of chrome
secret agent man:
OK
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
and a little tv
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
to fit right above the handlebars
secret agent man:
I’ll also get you a lavender leather jacket with lots of zippers
secret agent man:
and some chaps to match
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
and fringe
secret agent man:
and gloves with fringe
secret agent man:
right
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
elbow length, lots of fringe
secret agent man:
and some fur
secret agent man:
real fur
secret agent man:
taken from real ligers
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
awesome
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
the helmet can’t match, though
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i’m thinking…something with flames
secret agent man:
of course
secret agent man:
and a huge chrome point
secret agent man:
like a kaiser might wear
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
(someone just walked by as i’m laughing, alone in my office…)
secret agent man:
kill them
secret agent man:
we allow for no one to incite weakness in our ranks
secret agent man:
did you kill them yet?
secret agent man:
use the flamethrower
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i was away, feeding their fingers through the laminator
secret agent man:
Ooooh! Nice. Very Fargo of you.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
the flamethrower will come next…hang on…
secret agent man:
OK
secret agent man:
hurry up.
secret agent man:
the helecopter will be here soon to pick us up
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
damn it…that was tricker than i thought
secret agent man:
yes, but you kilt ‘em good, right?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
got r done
secret agent man:
good
secret agent man:
now wipe that whiskey off your mouth
secret agent man:
it’s embarrasing
secret agent man:
we need to get to the roof
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
but not before they hurled a few cans of diced tomatoes (with basil) my way
secret agent man:
the helecopter is here
secret agent man:
Oh, jesus.
secret agent man:
cockroaches
secret agent man:
the helicopter has cockroaches all over the floor
secret agent man:
nevermind that
secret agent man:
we need to get out of here
secret agent man:
climb in
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
no way dude. not with cockroaches
secret agent man:
GET IN YOU WUSS
secret agent man:
this is important business
secret agent man:
cockroaches be damned
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
we can toss them out one at a time once we’re in the air
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
it’ll be a hoot watching them
secret agent man:
no time for that
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
you are no fun when you’re in this state
secret agent man:
I have a high pressure water gun we can use to blow them out the other side
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
even funner
secret agent man:
Oh, look, they are in Paul’s hair!
secret agent man:
did you see that one crawl up his nose?
secret agent man:
Oh, look at him twitching
secret agent man:
guess they’ll need to find a new Produce guy
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
that’s a shame
secret agent man:
no time for sentiment
secret agent man:
you have the map?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
we don’t need a map
secret agent man:
alright
secret agent man:
I just pushed the pilot out the window
secret agent man:
he doesn’t know anything, and you seem to know where we’re going
secret agent man:
fly this thing
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i told lulu we’d pick her up
secret agent man:
alright, but make it snappy
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
she made sandwiches
secret agent man:
these had better be damn good sandwiches
secret agent man:
what kind are they
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
not sure
secret agent man:
WE ARE GOING TO PICK UP A POSSIBLE INFORMANT WHO “MADE SANDWICHES” AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIND THEY ARE?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
she’s on our side, don’t worry
secret agent man:
SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER ALL OF THIS WIND AND THE ‘COPTER BLADES. YOU’LL HAVE TO TALK LOUDER
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i just hope that she didn’t wear the hoop skirt
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
that could potentially complicate things
secret agent man:
WHAT?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
I SAID…I JUST HOPE SHE DIDN’T WEAR THE HOOP SKIRT!!!!!
secret agent man:
IS THAT HER? DOWN THERE IN THE HOOP SKIRT WITH THE LONGEBERGER BASKET?
secret agent man:
I THINK IT IS
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
YES, HANG ON…
secret agent man:
I’M DROPPING THE LINE
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
I’M SWOOPING DOWN…
secret agent man:
SHE’LL HAVE TO GRAB ON AND CLIMB UP
secret agent man:
NO TIME TO LAND
secret agent man:
OK, SHE’S GRABBED ON
secret agent man:
NOW LET’S GO
secret agent man:
I HOPE SHE DOESN’T FALL OFF
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
DON’T WORRY, WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME…
secret agent man:
I TRUST YOU
secret agent man:
LET’S GO
secret agent man:
WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE GOING?
secret agent man:
THE TROOPS IN MADAGASCAR HAVE ANNIHILATED THAT SOCIETY, SO WE FON’T HAVE TO GO THERE
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
ACTUALLY, I CAN’T TELL YOU WHERE WE’RE GOING
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
YOU’LL HAVE TO PUT THIS BLINDFOLD ON.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
LULU AND I ARE IN CHARGE NOW.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
HERE, HAVE A SANDWICH
secret agent man:
OH, JESUS
secret agent man:
CAN’T YOU KEEP THIS CRAFT STEADY?
secret agent man:
I CAN’T SEE A THING
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
HUSH UP AND EAT
secret agent man:
why is the sandwich moving around in my mouth?
secret agent man:
it seems like there is something alive in it
secret agent man:
(Oh, so much better since we put the microphone helmets on)
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
LULU’S ALWAYS COMING UP WITH CRAZY RECIPES
secret agent man:
I can hear you better now
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
I LIKE YELLING
secret agent man:
yelling is OK.
secret agent man:
can you hear me?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
HUH?
secret agent man:
O FOR FUCK’S SAKE
secret agent man:
ARE WE THERE YET?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
NOPE.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
OH SHIT
secret agent man:
I THINK THE THORZINE IS KICKING IN…..
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE SOMETHING HAPPENING WITH THE TAIL
secret agent man:
MMMRMPHHH
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
I’M GOING TO HAVE TO CRAWL OUT THERE AND FIX IT
secret agent man:
THORZINE…..IS…SO….NICE….
secret agent man:
GIVE….LULU….THE….CONTROLS…../
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WELL, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO FLY THIS THING
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
LULU’S BUSY KNITTING ORANGE SOCKS
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
HERE.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
IT’S MOSTLY ON AUTO PILOT
secret agent man:
HURRY UP AND FIX THAT TAIL
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WE WON’T EVEN NEED TO REMOVE THE BLINDFOLD
secret agent man:
WITH THESE DRUGS, I’M HAVNIG A HARD TIME KEEPING THIS THING AIRBORN
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
YEAH.
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WHERE’S MY TOOLBELT?
secret agent man:
AND THE YARN IS GETTIGN ALL TANGLED IN THE CONTROLS
secret agent man:
TOOLBELT?
secret agent man:
YOU DON’T NEED A TOOLBELT
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
FUCK IT
secret agent man:
HERE, USE THIS PAPERCLIP AND A KNITTING NEEDLE, MCGYVER
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
I’LL JUST USE THIS CHEWING GUM
secret agent man:
PERFECT
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
K, HERE GOES
secret agent man:
NICE JOB
secret agent man:
FLYING THIS THING WITH A BLINDFOLD ON IS MUCH EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
secret agent man:
I AM SO IN TUNE WITH THE UNIVERSE
secret agent man:
I CAN SENSE AND AVOID OBSTACLES
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WELL, THAT’S GOING TO COME IN HANDY IN JUST A MOMENT…
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A WATER LANDING
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
THAT GUM’S NOT HOLDING…
secret agent man:
I SENSED THAT
secret agent man:
AND I ALSO SENSE THE SHARKS
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
THERE ARE STILL A FEW SANDWICHES LEFT
secret agent man:
I DON’T THINK I CAN SWIM VERY WELL WITH THIS BLINDFOLD, AND FEND OFF THE SHARKS
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WE’LL FEED THEM TO THE SHARKS
secret agent man:
I HAVE TO TAKE IT OFF
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
OK
secret agent man:
LUCKY LULU WORE HER HOOP SKIRT
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
WE CAN USE IT FOR FLOTATION
secret agent man:
IT’S GOT A SECRET INFLATABLE RAFT FUNCTION SHE DIDNT TELL YOU ABOUT
secret agent man:
O GOOD, SHE’S DEPLOYING IT NOW
secret agent man:
IT’S MADE OF KEVLAR, SO THE SHARKS CANT TOUCH US
secret agent man:
Wow, that was a much more graceful landing than I anticipated
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
THIS COULD BE FUN EVEN, EXCEPT THAT IT’S THE HEIGHT OF MONSOON SEASON
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
The water’s looking a bit choppy…
secret agent man:
looks like the wormhole we just entered sucked me in
secret agent man:
i didn’t expect it, but the whirlpool was the portal to the wormhole
secret agent man:
i went 2500 years into the future
secret agent man:
and learned that if I don’t do a little work this morning, I might disintegrate
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
did you bring your laptop?
secret agent man:
NO
secret agent man:
WHY
secret agent man:
I CAN GRAB IT BEFORE I GO TO THE STUDIO IF YOU NEED SOMETHIGN
secret agent man:
*something
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
if you’d thought to bring it with you, you could work right here in the raft
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
but, as it is, looks like we’ll have to drop you off here
secret agent man:
yeah, the wireless reception isn’t so great out here in the open water
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
there’s an island coming up here on the left…
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
i can call in for a chopper pick-up
secret agent man:
kthanks
secret agent man:
sorry
secret agent man:
people have begun tio arrive + I slammed some folks with a shitton of bugs yesterday
secret agent man:
so they are all in my office now
secret agent man:
anyway
secret agent man:
i have to go
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
yeah, the cockroaches, right?
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
k
secret agent man:
it’s been fun having our little adventure this morning
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
me too actually
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
yeah, i’m a little wiped out
Ninja with Mad Skilz:
that was crazy