This, from a good friend currently deployed in Afghanistan. A reminder to support our troops….Being that i have a lot of freetime on my hand and often eat bad food out here, I wondered how far the human ass travels in a lifetime because of farts. Assumptions: a good earthy, average fart oscillates the cheeks approx 10 times/sec a cheek moves 1/16″ per oscillation average fart approx 2 seconds the average person farts 13 times/day average American lifespan is 77 years given these numbers, one can marvel at how resilient the human body is. in the course of one’s lifetime, the ass will move 28.83 miles because of gas. thanks for the tax money (fyi, “farts” was tagged as being misspelled by blogger. I just thought that was funny.)