Archive for the ‘Poetry’ CategoryYou don’t need to be a beat poet you with your words reading your souldegrading it to less than a Fox News report, you fucker. Betraying yourself for fear of true exposure.Read it like you feel it. Kill the monotone intelligentsia bullshit. Kill it and read like it’s the last thing you’re allowed to say when the mugger ignorant to anything but his next 40, his next fix, his next payoff – knowing you’ll die but allowed the privilege the luxury yes, the honor of reading here in our timecrunched presence. Read it like it’s your last breath. Some of you know that I am a software tester. A precarious job when dealing with developers who take pride in their work. I find bugs, and some of them take it personally. I don’t ever mean it that way, and have to be diplomatic in the way that I talk to them about their code. I also try to bring a sense of humor to the department as evidenced by my office:
 Notice the head. The sheep is not my doing, but it’s funny, so I left it there. A hog-tied sheep hanging above my desk, what could be better? Remembering that we write ASP .Net application called CHAIN, I wrote the following ode to our senior developer…. Ode to Jim Kinsey
I and several other people thought it was funny. And I’m sure God has a sense of humor, He’s a Good Guy, right? I wrote that for my departments eyes only, quite a while ago. Which is why I was a little surprised when it appeared in the company bi-weekly newsletter, but whatever, I didn’t think anything about it. I knew it might ruffle some feathers, but I didn’t think it would be a huge deal. It’s also important to note that the deciding forces who published the little mash-up poem/bible verse edited out the numbering, so that it looked even less like a bible verse. Apparently it was a huge deal. I got a headsup email from a co-worker about it. This particular person is responsible for the newsletter’s publication.
I do not save my SENT messages, so I cannot include the complete thread. Apparently, though, this got carried away, and several other people were reprimanded, along with a formal complaint being filed with HR. Here’s the rest of the partial thread I have…
OK, so I realize that the poem is probably not work appropriate, just as religious email FWDs in the office or hanging religious posters in one’s office is not work appropriate unless one works in a church office, for example. However, as I stated before, several people for whom it was intended found it amusing. And really, I find the whole situation amusing, because these religious nuts take themselves far far far too seriously. It’s a good thing they missed my earlier poetic efforts. I’m sure they really would have Yesterday, as I spoke to ArmyWife , I was reminded of a conversation that I had with one of the customer trolls that used to frequent Kinko’s when I worked 3rd shift there back in Akron. ArmyWife’s and my conversation resulted from yesterday’s mail, which is too good to degrade by shrinking it down to fit here. Have a look at the envelope, and then, once you wipe the beer that you shot through your nose from your computer monitor, have a look at the front and the back pages of the enclosed letter. Once you have been convinced, please have a look at the prayer rug The front of which reads, “Look into Jesus’ Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look, you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go and be alone and kneel on this Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. Then, please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it.” Why do they want it back? “Alright, alright, Marc, what’s the conversation to which you referred earlier?” Fear not, faithful reader, for I will soon come to that. In fact, we have arrived. The conversation, which I will reprint here, is a segue to the country-western song I wrote back in 1999, which still does not have any music associated with it. I’m certain the song will guarantee me a place in hell in some people’s eyes, but I believe Jesus has a sense of humor. Anyway, first, the conversation. Jesus Freak: Do you know the Lord Jesus? Me: Of course I do. Jesus Freak: When’s the last time you talked to Him? Me: Why, just last night. Jesus Freak: You spoke to the Lord last night? Me: Can I ask you a question?* Jesus Freak: Certainly. Me: Do you believe that The Lord Jesus Christ is in each and every one of us? (I’m sure there is innuendo here, lurking.) Jesus Freak: Yes. Me: Well, then, I was at Annabell’s last night, drinkin’ whiskey with ‘Ole Jesus. He’s a pretty Good Guy. Well, it went something like that. —— * Don’t you hate it when someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” Ask, YDMF. Ask your question. Sheesh. —— Anyway, I wrote this song about Jesus, the Swearing Sailor, and the Seven Deadly Sins. I am still looking for someone to write some music for it. Takers should email me,and maybe we can arrange something. The Ballad of Jesus and the Swearing Sailor Jesus and the Swearing Sailor cursed themselves a blue streak. Lucifer’s little one it seems had been talkin’ trash on Jesus. Get ye back to hell my boy,†said my Brother Jesus. “How’d you do that Brutha Man how’d you do that trick? “It’s all real simple, son—listen up real good: Envy’s got its price you see, don’t you look so stunned. The Sailor now, you see, my friend, Greedy for another sign, he did taunt Our Lord. Jesus was then heard to sigh Wipe greed from thy heart The Sailor he was angry, see? Jesus slowly wiped his brow For wrath an’ rage are Devil’s friends The Sailor then did quiet fall, Jesus hollered, “Oh, the gall,†“Put away your pride good son The Sailor he did want to run, Jesus said “A bite to eat†Then they ate the fruit you see, “Sailor, son, slow it down, Eat only what you need good sir Sailor laughed and wiped his mouth, Jesus shook his head again “Help me Father get to him The Sailor and the Savior then, went out, that then there day, Looking down the beach a ways Christ shook His head and smiled some, They walked along, Christ and His new friend, She wasn’t wearing any clothes. “Well, now Brother Jesus now, “Sailor turn your other cheek Jesus an’ the Swearing Sailor  Deconstructed poetry from an inactive blog. Inspired by Jessica Simkovic, written by Marc. test run of the audio blog functionality. All other audio posts will be original works or explanations. |
